Coming Out with SI

[Wedge]

This thread relates only to the specific web page in the title above, which is found on the FirstSigns website at:

http://www.firstsigns.org.uk/out/index.html

This thread is for people to discuss this single page. If you have general comments about the FirstSigns website, you can post a new thread in the 'FirstSigns' forum.

[Guest]

wHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD I STARTED CUTTING... I'm 13 now...
I didn't tell any one till i was 12. 3 YEARS LATER!! I didnt know what to do i was so scarred... and of course being so young i always thought that i was the only one...I'm still trying very hard to stop, but my life is very difficult. I've found this websight today.and... i dont really know what to say to the other people who have suffered just as i have all these years...

THANK YOU!!!

[Guest]

Yeah, you know when, in the article, they keep referring to "scars", does it refer to actual scar tissue or just to recent cuts. If it's referring to the cuts then yes, it is giving some great advice. However, if it's talking about scars...I have some cracking scars on my arm that are actual scars (they've turned white) and I don't see the point in covering them up. It's a piece of your own past that you've beaten, whether for ever or for a short while, and if you go around covering up all the time will you ever get used to people looking at it, or even glancing down and seeing it yourself?? Obviously it's up to the individual, but personally I've had lots of dodgy looks - you just need to grin and bear it. Other people's opinions please??

[loz]

wow! its great that your so open about your scars, but i know some people on here arent so confident at showing their scars! im dont show mine, mainly because the only badly noticeable ones are places where i wouldnt want to show anyway (tops of my legs, hips, etc) but some people could indeed be worried about the galnces that your saying to 'grin and bear'

[zoe]

Yer
I dont show my scars to most people, at the moment I only show them to two people. Which is an improvement, because I dont have any trust in most people, but I am getting there!

[munchbunch]

My scars are all quite old now and mostly white so they don't really bother me anymore around friends and family i don't tend to cover up anymore.

love and hugs
munchiexx

[FReedomFRIES]

I would never show my scars. I just don't feel that comfortable, at all. I only show the dr when there's something wrong with them. I'm hoping that I'll soon feel differently about it all, after counselling. Who know's? I don't think we should have to feel bad at all about showing who we are, doesn't help me follow it through though.

[Jules]

i dont show mine but am thinking of showing my right arm this year as all the scars are completely white now, im not sure though. i would never show fresh cuts - and i have no respect for people who do.

[Charlotte]

*agrees* i don't want to be judgemental either, but i have that opinion, especailly when it comes to then posting those pictures on the internet....

[munchbunch]

I agree people who do things like that make it harder for others to get help and to be taken seriously. Its not a competition and its not a sideshow.

love and hugs
munchiexx

[parkour]

i self harm but no one knows
i dont want my family to know but
i want to speek to some1 about
but who?

[Wedge]

Hello parkour,

as you've found our website, and our 'Coming Out' page, you might gain inspiration from within out 'Helping You' section, and out Links page. An of course you're welcome to register here on our Message Board and join our vibrant and supportive community. (Registration is not instant, once you register, you'll receive an email with instructions).

Deciding who to ask for help and who to talk to about self-injury often depends on your circumstances; maybe you're at University and have access to a Welfare Office, of perhaps you're at school and can talk to a Nurse, or maybe you work in a large office and can request time off to see a professional counsellor. It all depends on where you are in life; many of us talk to a good friend and think about going to see our Doctor who has a duty to refer us to a trained / experienced professional.

[Guest]

I've been cutting for over 10 years. I resently have been taking pictures of my cuts, but not to show anyone. I do it just to have it documented, like part of journaling. I guess I never want to forget what I've been through. No one has ever seen any of the pictures I've taken. I guess while it is important to keep it private, you also have to be accepting of yourself. Sorry if none of that made sense.

[Ebony]

personally i am at a place where showing my scars is the next step in recovery, i would only ever show them to people i am comfortable with and in certain situations i do cover up, for example when i know there are going to be photos taken, my sisters weding being the last time i did cover up.
i consider myself luky because only two people haw ever comented on my scars, this could be though due to the fact that whenever i go out ive always go my headphones on!
anyway as i was saying , i havnt self harmed in a while so by showing my scars i feel that im saying to myself and others, yeah i did this but im through it now so what you gonna do? (bit of an attitude there lol) iys like my way of fighting back, i cant show my arms if i have freah cuts.

i do agree that it is a personal choice and im a great believer in personal choice.

as for the page i think that it can come across as a bit, you should cover up as others will slate you for it. but that may just be the way im reading it.
youre site is great though and definatly helped me through some tough urges. Guess what im trying to say is thanks

[littleted1]

Ebony I agree with a lot of what you said there. Letting my scars show has been like the final step in my recovery, allowing me to forget about them and move on. I started by showing mine out in town shopping where I wouldn't know anyone, then around friends, then family and finally at work etc. And honestly i think people rarely notice and no-one ever says anything.

I think after I read the page I got the impression maybe it was suggesting showing my scars would attract attention and I would have to deal with that - which did make me feel a little anxious and like I might be dealing with it forever. But in reality I haven't had any bad experiences and while I'm sure there are people out there who do comment and stare, I think they're few and far between. Mostly I've felt free to forget about my scars and move on. I think most people are too caught up in their own stuff to even notice.