Helping You: 15 Minute Rule

[Wedge]

This thread relates only to the specific web page in the title above, which is found on the FirstSigns website at:

http://www.firstsigns.org.uk/help/15mins.html

This thread is for people to discuss this single page. If you have general comments about the FirstSigns website, you can post a new thread in the 'FirstSigns' forum.

[sapphire]

i can undertand the 15 min rule
nd sometimes it works
but other times the pain just builds up nd gets worse
does ny1 else find this or am i just strange?

[Em]

For me, the urge to cut normally lasts way more than fifteen minutes, so I know I would still SH after that time. Sometimes as well, you're just so focused on how low you're feeling that SH seems like the only option.

[Jules]

For me, the urge to cut normally lasts way more than fifteen minutes, so I know I would still SH after that time. Sometimes as well, you're just so focused on how low you're feeling that SH seems like the only option.

i agree, its the same for me, but the fifteen minute rule isnt limited to 15 minutes - i nearly always have to extend it. the fifteen minute rule states that if, after 15 minutes you still want to si then you can, but you also have the choice of putting it off for another 15 minutes. ive spent entire days doing this before, increasing it to hour long slots where i keep myself occupied with other things. eventually either the urge passes or im too tired to si and go to sleep. i know its called the '15 minute' rule but this doesnt have to be taken literally. i believe its all about finding what works best for each individual, based on the advice and suggestions given.

[Charlotte]

Yeah i use the 15 minute rule all the time, and if i get a different type of urge, i change it so i say i won't SI until at least the end of this week.

[sue]

i like the 15 min rule, but i like that at the end of the 15 mins to stop and re-assess, then you can go for another 15 and another 15 or 20 or half an hour. i, too have spent days doing this.

[obliviousx]

hmm i usually change the fifteen minute rule to be the thirty minute rule.
That way by the time it comes to reassess how i'm feeling i can do another half hour, and slowly pass the hours away. also its better as urges can last for hours, days, and sometimes weeks so fifteen minutes is sometimes too short a time.
x x x
hope everyone's okay.

[Robinsadai]

The fifteen minute rule has gotten me through entire nights just laying in bed thinking.

I've made it this fifteen minutes...Can I make it another fifteen?

I see it as a challenge to overcome. It's easier to think of it as beating the clock than beating the urge to SI.

Sometimes thinking about it for fifteen minutes lets it boil in my mind for that whole time and I feel worse than when I started though.

<3Robin

[nickman991]

I had to do what Jules had to do as well.. For me, and I think a lot of people the urge wasn't really 15 minutes or shorter.. The ones that were, I just got used to waiting 15 minutes.. So what I did was made it the 2 hour rule.. THe urges were almost always gone by 2 hours and I was able to re-evaluate.

One of my favorite techniques.. That has helped me a million..

Nick

[guest]

I have used the 15 minute rule for a while now. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't it just depends on hw I'm feeling to begin with. However I would totally agree with the following:

The fifteen minute rule has gotten me through entire nights just laying in bed thinking.

Even if I still SI after a certain amount of time I don't feel so guilty, because I feel like I have exerted a certain amount of control over it.

[beth38]

When I was first told to use the 15 minute rule I couldn't do it and I hated it. It took about a year for me to get the hang of it but now it works very well for me. Almost every time I feel the urge I am able to make myself wait at least until the next segment of my day. One of my triggers doesn't even bother me as much anymore, maybe because of this rule but I'm not sure. It helps me to feel more in control to wait and decide to SI than to do it as a reaction to something else.

[FReedomFRIES]

Wow I've never used the 15 minute rule but after reading this thread I think I will. I think 15mins is a bit short and I never thought of extending it.

[Jules]

I hope it works for you, I think it's one of the best distraction methods. Plus, it can be used for other things too - I'm currently trying to give up smoking and I'm using the 15 minute rule when I get a craving!

Do let us know how you get on with it.

[Nerissa]

I think it's an excellent tool. I'm so impressed with you guys who extend it further than 15 minutes!! Sometimes, 15 seems like forever, far too long to wait or distract myself or keep breathing. When I've been at my lowest, I've done it in sets of five or even three minutes. Mostly, rather than as SI avoidance, I use it to stop myself from acting on suicidal thoughts.

At night, I often vary it - I'm terrible at mental arithmetic, so if I set myself random numbers to wait, say six and a half minutes, and then seven and three quarters, and then five and a half, I spend most of that distraction period, working out what time to re-evaluate!

[D-Elle]

It's great that you've found an effective way to use this.

I think that really is the intention - to take the concept and then make it work for you.

I love the idea of taking an 'odd' time and then working out the finish one - think I'd be there with you running out of fingers and toes!

Keep safe
D-Elle